Four judges in California just recently ruled that homosexuals can legally “marry” one another, even though the California citizens had voted that marriage is between a man and a woman. Massachusetts is the only other state that allows homosexuals to “marry.” I’ve placed “marry” in quotes because these states have contradicted the clear dictionary definition of marriage that has reflected the meaning of marriage for all past human history.
But now that states allow homosexuals to “marry,” many interesting questions come to mind. Here’s one I’ve thought of as a clinical psychologist: “What if two gays get married, and then later one of them seeks sexual reorientation therapy and becomes straight?” Then you would have a homosexual man “married” to a heterosexual man! And the straight guy wouldn’t welcome the sexual advances of the gay guy to whom he’d be legally married!
In all my years being a clinical psychologist, many teens and adults with same-sex sexual attractions have come to me asking for help to become heterosexual. But no one with heterosexual attractions has ever come asking my help to become develop a homosexual lifestyle!!! And I’ve never read of any case of anyone asking a doctor for help to become homosexual. So it would be unheard of for a man and woman to marry and then one decide to get therapy to become homosexual. But thousands of people with homosexual attractions decide at some point that they want to stop their homosexual behavior and then seek therapy to overcome their homosexual impulses and to develop heterosexual attractions. So only “gay marriage” would have this unique dilemma for a “gay married” partner who decides seek therapy to quit the homosexual lifestyle.
But some would perceptively ask the scientific question, “Is it even possible for someone with a homosexual orientation to be successfully treated to decrease same-sex attractions and to increase heterosexual attractions?” Several recent clinical research studies (published in peer-reviewed journals) have discovered that the answer is “yes,” it is possible to change, and a major study found that attempts at change are not harmful. One large multi-year study on these questions was recently published in the book entitled, Ex-Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation by Professor Stanton Jones, Ph.D., and Professor Mark Yarhouse, Psy.D. by IVP Academic (2007). You can order this book at www.amazon.com or ask your favorite bookstore to order it for you, if you are interested.
I wonder, did the California judges ponder this finding that homosexuals can change before making their ruling? Did the judges realize that heterosexuals do not seek therapy to become homosexuals, but many homosexuals have sought and received effective therapy that turned them away from homosexuality to a heterosexual adjustment? If being “gay” can be changed by the person by seeking therapy, what does that say about how wise it would be for one gay to “marry” another gay? Should the “wedding vows” of gays include a promise never to seek therapy to change to heterosexuality “for as long as we both shall live”? I’d be interested in what you think about this California decision, and I welcome your comments.
Perhaps you know a teen who is thinking about getting a “gay marriage” someday. Or maybe you are a teen thinking about someday traveling to California to have a gay “marriage.” I would recommend that you first stop to think about all the implications, and discuss the idea with the people who love you most in your family circle and in your church, synagogue, or other religious house of worship. And also, think about the possibility (although you can’t even imagine it would be even possible right now) that you could become excited about a heterosexual marriage if you got the right kind of effective therapy. Anyone wanting more information on therapy or therapists for sexual reorientation therapy can find it at www.narth.com which is the website of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. Many Christians with same-sex sexual attractions have obtained help through www.exodus-international.org which is the website of Exodus International.
In the meantime, I’d be interested in your comments on this issue. E-mail your questions to: blog@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post your question, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.
© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP, Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus, University of South Carolina School of Medicine
